MARCH UPDATE

5'9 height

his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

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TAG WITH @lou

POSTED ON Apr 11, 2023 22:22:27 GMT

MATIAS SILPH likes this

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It felt like he couldn’t make it back to the rift and exit the portal to the ultra deep sea quickly enough. Despite his protests and stubbornness and attempts to distract himself, fear and anxiety continued to crawl under his skin like an infestation left behind by some overly zealous bug-type.

As much as he tried to shove the thoughts away, Lam hadn’t been blind to the darker things he’d seen that day. Now that there were no more battles and no more fights to be had, he was left with the mental images burned into his mind. No more cargo to carry, no more witty banter with rockets who carried less menacing demeanor.

Ginger. A heap of blood and feathers and mangled flesh. The cruel that sent Noodle rolling away. Flashes of that undead gardevoir’s claws in the dark and the shrill cry it set loose. The rocket who had stood by and allowed it, but not without decking him first.

Then there were the other memories—searing into his mind by the pink mist of the interdream zone. Warping into manifestations of kanto’s overthrowing. The guilt placed in his hands because he froze up. The harsh reprimand of the league officer for him being there.

All of it made his scare in the borderlands with Matias seem like a walk in the park. At least that hadn’t amounted to extreme violence. At least when he met with the Elite Four member today it was one of the tamer parts of his visits. Which he hadn’t been expecting.

After that day back at the border, it had really seemed like–

No.

Nothing had happened. Matias was still cemented as a friend in his mind. One he was still wary of, but even so. Not that leaving had settled the nerves still lit on every end.

Because as soon as he had clearance to go, the creeping through struck him—

All this time, he’d been phoneless. Unable to reach Rook. A new wave of guilt and panic swept through him. He’d promised he would check in, hadn't he?

With the rest of his team spent, he had scrambled to find a pc in Dewford. Butternut carried him back to Slateport, the corviknight touching down on the little cement square of a balcony, rather than the stairwell entrance to the apartment complex. The large gray bird squawked loudly, trying to get Rook’s attention. Through the sliding glass door, he couldn’t see his boyfriend wandering about. His shaky hand pressed to the glass. It’d been a long time since he’d felt the tremble of panic in his chest like this.

Maybe he was out? Probably for the better. He didn’t want the other to see him this way, like anything other but the steady self Rook knew. Except he needed to see him too. To make sure he knew that Lam was okay and safe and whole save for some bruises and scrapes and an ugly shiner on the left side of his face.

Ashen face and shallow, rapid breath.

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[attr="class","sam-banner-up-title"]weh :’) // we revise to be post-pd…

over this threshold over and over again into oblivion

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played by

roux

Rook

he/him

Twenty-Six

june 27

Jubilife City, Sinnoh

bi-sexual

art thief

civilian

6'2" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

250 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @ikarus

POSTED ON May 2, 2023 14:03:36 GMT

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He was stress cleaning.
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It had turned into a rabbit hole, digging deep into the cracks and crevices of their little apartment. Yet, it did very little to take away the eating dread that was currently pinning him down. Lam had yet to call him. He'd not even taken the time to text back to one of Rook's 300 messages. He was probably being too much. If anything, he was being a major distraction. What if he'd been focusing on his phone when he should be focusing on what was going on around him? What if it was Rook's fault that he was...? He scrubbed until his fingers went red, pressing so hard on the steel wool pad.
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It felt pointless, all of this was pointless. He was uselessly cleaning while Lam could be seriously hurt. How could he ever forgive himself if anything bad happened and he'd been sitting there cleaning? It wasn't a positive or remotely helpful line of thought. It was detrimental and selfish and stupid, but it bled through the cracks in his mental defenses until it was all he could think about.
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Me, me me — of course. He shook his head with a sigh, sitting back and slumping over against the floor. He was pathetic. He laid there, holding his phone out like at any moment the screen would light up and Lam's name would appear next to the dumb icon he'd set in the address. Lam was out there risking his life and he was contemplating how that might affect him. How stupid selfish could he be? He should have gone with him, insisted on it. Sure, he wasn't exactly a fighter yet and couldn't yet keep up with Lam, but he had a badge. That had to mean something, right?
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His squat little pink fuecoco was sitting on the armchair, looking at him with concern. Or at least, it looked like concern. Bubblegum didn't seem to have much going on in his head, but he was cute.
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That was when he heard the little telltale screech of Lam's corviknight. He twisted up off the ground, looking around. For a moment, he wondered if he was just imagining things. He pushed himself up to his knees, face red from being smushed against the hard wood and knees achy from scrubbing. "Lam?" He whispered, stupid hopefulness seeping into his tone. The sound didn't come from the front door though. Leave it to Lam to aim for the balcony.
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"Lam?" He pulled the sliding glass door aside and finally saw him. His eyes widened, seeing at first the bone-white pallor of the other man's skin, accentuating the blue shiner on his side of his face.
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"Lam!? Are you okay?" He crashed down beside him, ignoring the pain of the cement on his knees. His hands sought out his face with as much softness as he could manage in his panic. "Baby, what happened? Are you okay?"

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@ lam logan

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played by

lou

lam

he/him

twenty-seven

may 7th

hau’oli city, alola

rooksexual (demi)

lilycove gym leader

gym leader

5'9 height

his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

awards

1,782 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @lou

POSTED ON May 8, 2023 16:54:33 GMT

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[attr="class","sam-banner-up-blurb"]Perched on the rail, Butternut cawed again, drawing his sprigatito from where she sat vigilantly by the small garden boxes he kept out on the balcony. The little cat mewed, rosy eyes wide and head butting against his knee, but it went unnoticed.

The crush of everything that had happened, whether good or bad, closed in around him. It was too much. He couldn’t quiet his mind down to think through it all. Before his hands could slip into his hair in frustration, though, the sliding glass door was squeaking open and palms pressed to his face.

It was like he could see that Rook was there. He could hear what he was saying, but he couldn’t process a single word. Frantic eyes darted over the familiar face of his boyfriend. Absorbed the worry etched there and felt his guilt for putting him through this double down. All this time–worried and without a single idea. It was all he could latch onto.

The press against the tender bruise made him flinch, but he didn’t pull away from the familiarity of his touch. Instead, his eyes squeezed shut and his forehead leaned against Rook’s as his hands settled over the other’s. Keeping them in place. He didn’t answer the questions asked. He couldn’t begin to start sorting through it. Ginger. Rocket. Those memories and illusions.

“Sorry.” It was all he could manage to say. His mind chose to fixate on the one thing he could keep a grip on as his chest rose and fell quickly. He tried to will the shaking out of his fingers, but couldn’t manage. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean– my phone got…”

Foolish. Stupid. He couldn’t even finish a sentence. How ridiculous did he seem then? All that steadiness he’d tried to maintain for Rook, all that support and strength, and he couldn’t even say what was wrong. Couldn’t force the frantic wobble in his voice away, desperate and terrified that Rook was mad with him for not replying. For not letting him know that he was okay.

But was he okay? He should be okay.

Why couldn’t he just be okay?

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[attr="class","sam-banner-up-title"]weh :’) // we revise to be post-pd…

over this threshold over and over again into oblivion

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played by

roux

Rook

he/him

Twenty-Six

june 27

Jubilife City, Sinnoh

bi-sexual

art thief

civilian

6'2" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

250 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @ikarus

POSTED ON May 9, 2023 15:08:17 GMT

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Lam flinched.
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It wasn't outright, but it was noticeable enough to make Rook freeze. This wasn't normal for Lam, who had always been pretty composed under stress. Something horrible must have happened to him and Rook wasn't sure if he was equipped to handle that. What if he did a bad job at soothing him? After so many times of Lam soothing him, he couldn't afford not to be the same way.
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He stooped down beside Lam, perfectly fine to stay there with him on the balcony. "Shh, it's okay. You don't need to apologize, I'm just happy you're home." Lam wasn't seriously afraid that he was mad about that, right? Sure, he might have been if Lam had strolled up all nonchalant after Rook had been panicking for that last few hours, but this was obviously different.
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"Lam it's alright, just breathe." He placed the flat of on hand to the other man's chest, trying to slow the rapid beat of his heart with will alone. "It's okay. What happened? Are you hurt?"
[break][break]
Clearly, the bruise on his face wasn't painless, but there was nothing life-threatening so far as Rook could see. His other hand moved, locks of hair moving through his fingers. "It's okay, baby. Just tell me what happened."

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@ lam logan

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played by

lou

lam

he/him

twenty-seven

may 7th

hau’oli city, alola

rooksexual (demi)

lilycove gym leader

gym leader

5'9 height

his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

awards

1,782 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @lou

POSTED ON May 23, 2023 16:30:47 GMT

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[attr="class","sam-banner-up-blurb"]The flinch wasn't intentional, and it definitely wasn't meant to give the impression that he was shying away from Rook. In fact, he wanted to lean into the touch and comfort it brought. It was no more than a reaction to the pressure against the tender bruise.

But the sting of it was grounding, in a way.

The sharp, aching sensation cut through some of the panic, through the jumble of his thoughts, and the inability to arrange his words into sentences that made sense. His breath remained quick and shallow, but at least one piece came back into place.

He nodded rapidly at the reassurance that no, Rook wasn’t mad at him. Relief began to blot out the guilt he’d felt for accidentally leaving his partner in the dark all day and night. Trying to swallow down a deeper breath, it exhaled shakily as his gaze lifted to find Rook’s.

“No, I’m not hurt, not really. But Noodle is, and it’s my fault, and so is—“ He frowned, hand drifting down to his belt to reclaim the empty dive ball. He held it up in the flat of his palm. “My quaquaval.” His fingers closed around it, thumb jabbing at the release button, but there was no bright beam of light. No goofy looking bird released to stare down at them.

The ball clicked open. Empty and cold.

“I thought it’d be fine. Like any other match.” His voice twisted pathetically as he tried to explain it. The words began to tighten and stop up in his throat again as the memory re-affixed itself. The image.

Mangled limbs and drenched feathers. All that blood.

He tilted inward, leaning against Rook as his forehead pressed against the crook of his shoulder and neck. “I’m okay, it’s fine. I’m fine.” The babbled insistence muffled against the fabric of the other’s shirt as it grew damp, and his shoulders shook from the effort to pull himself together.

All directed at himself, rather than at Ikarus. Rook anchored him, made him feel safe for the first time since he’d set out for Dewford that morning. It made him want to say more, explain better, but his tongue remained stubbornly twisted.

[attr="class","sam-banner-up-icon"]

[attr="class","sam-banner-up-title"]weh :’) // we revise to be post-pd…

over this threshold over and over again into oblivion

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played by

roux

Rook

he/him

Twenty-Six

june 27

Jubilife City, Sinnoh

bi-sexual

art thief

civilian

6'2" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

250 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @ikarus

POSTED ON Jun 2, 2023 17:02:05 GMT

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When he'd seen Lam off that morning, it hadn't even dawned on him the true danger. Maybe he really was stupid and naïve, but he'd never anticipated that things could actually get dangerous for Lam. It made him was to lock the doors and seal up the windows. It made a very real and selfish fear well up in him because he couldn't imagine what he'd do if Lam hadn't shown up on the balcony that night or the next night or the next. It felt deeper than the fear of loneliness. That at least was a familiar bedfellow that never wanted to feel acquainted with, but next to that kind of loss. What would he do?
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He swallowed the knot in his throat, realizing that there was no point in anguishing over potentiality. Lam was there with him, he was safe. That was what mattered. Even then, there was still loss. There was vacancy in Lam's spirit that hadn't existed there this morning. "What happened?" He asked, regretting it as he watched the ball pop open and nothing emerged from within. Oh. The sound was barely stifled, hanging in the air like he'd held a megaphone to his mouth. He swallowed again, but the knot didn't budge this time.
[break][break]
The pressure of the other's head against his shoulder felt unfamiliar, heavier somehow. Usually, he was the one in need of help. He was the one that needed to be picked up or put back together again, but all of his problems felt trivial now in comparison. Stupidly emotional and unearned.
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His hands moved around him and he shifted until he was sitting, allowing all of Lam's weight to rest against him. "No, Lam, you're not fine." Maybe he should have encouraged that the other was okay, but it didn't feel right here. "You're not fine but that's okay. That's..." He felt like his mouth didn't fit right around words. "Just tell me what happened."

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@ lam logan

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played by

lou

lam

he/him

twenty-seven

may 7th

hau’oli city, alola

rooksexual (demi)

lilycove gym leader

gym leader

5'9 height

his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

awards

1,782 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @lou

POSTED ON Jun 6, 2023 17:32:39 GMT

[attr="class","sam-banner-up"]

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□

[attr="class","sam-banner-up-blurb"]He was used to being the solid one—not just in their relationship, but in his childhood too. When their mother had left, Leif felt the sting of it worse. Lam hardened himself to that rejection. Both out of desire to be steady for his little brother and to avoid being a problem for their dad. It seeped into everything, he guessed. A bedrock for his best friend when she crumbled, one for Rook when his own past crept up on him.

But when the dam broke, it was impossible to stopper up again. Everything he’d held himself together for under a laid back personality and easygoing smile tumbling loose after a few small acts that hurt, yes, but should have been manageable, in his mind.

The way Rook’s arms circled around him made him feel safe in a way he’d been lacking, though. Like he could start to breathe again. He’d managed throughout the duration of his time there—held together by the simple necessity of getting by. He wondered if Rook realized that despite his feeble insistence of telling himself he was okay, Lam was sharing more with him than he ever allowed. Even in just letting this shaky, pitiful vulnerability be witnessed.

“I should be fine though, shouldn’t I?” he insisted, but the stubborn argument was weak and easily knocked down. His weight sagged. “I should be able to handle things?” Other people did it. Like Matias. Like other league members he’d met. He felt small and pathetic in comparison.

Lam sat back, blinking away the blurriness in his vision before his eyes squeezed shut in fixed concentration. “I got lost and then they were just there. I don’t—“ he could tell Rook, and it would be good to unload what he’d seen. What was still seared into his mind despite the inky dark his recollection wanted to drop over it. Blacking it out. But Rook was sweet and gentle with Pokémon. The brutality of the act clashed with that.

And Lam didn’t want to pain Rook with those details. “I’m not sure you want to know, Ikarus. It was…ugly.” His eyes were still shut, willing the freshness of it away. “I would unsee it, if I could. But the Rocket there just let it happen.”

And then later, it had been the same, hadn’t it? Or was it before? His sense of time there had jumbled together. “And then, there was this other guy. And his bruxish bit Noodle bad. I didn’t mean to—or he didn’t, he was just hurt and scared, so—“ he felt dirty and cruel, even if it had been an accident. Even if his shinx was still injured from the fight and from when the other Rocket had kicked him hard.

“Noodle just…used too much electricity. But the guy just laughed it off like it was nothing. I checked on the bruxish after he left it behind, but there wasn’t anything to do about it.” His fingers pulled through his hair, agitated and anxious. “I didn’t want that. I didn’t mean for it to happen, any of it.” His hands slipped down, the heels of his palms pressing against his eyes.

[attr="class","sam-banner-up-icon"]

[attr="class","sam-banner-up-title"]weh :’) // we revise to be post-pd…

over this threshold over and over again into oblivion

[attr="class","sam-banner-up-bounce"]

close tab

played by

roux

Rook

he/him

Twenty-Six

june 27

Jubilife City, Sinnoh

bi-sexual

art thief

civilian

6'2" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

250 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @ikarus

POSTED ON Jun 12, 2023 14:35:30 GMT

[nospaces]

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[attr="class","luck"]

[attr="class","postbody"]

It wasn't that Lam had never needed him, but it wasn't quite like this. Rook wished he was more prepared. He wished he knew exactly what to do or say in this kind of situation. All these years, he'd never had to be the person that someone relied on. "I should be fine though, shouldn’t I?” He felt a knot form in his throat at those words. It reminded him of back then, he'd scolded himself for not being stronger when he was in pain. He pulled Lam a little closer. "Lam, you don't have to handle everything. It's okay not to be alright. That's just being human."
[break][break]
It did sting, in a way, that Lam seemed so uncomfortable with it. However, it wasn't him that Lam was uncomfortable with. He reminded himself of that, not letting the disappointment slip out. This wasn't the time and it was selfish to worry that Lam didn't trust him enough. "I'm a big boy, Lam. You don't need to worry about me, okay?" It was true, pokemon were his soft spot. To hear that one had died, especially because of another person, it made him feel sick to his stomach. "You tell me whatever you need to though, okay? Don't worry about me."
[break][break]
At the same time, he wasn't going to force Lam to open up when he clearly didn't want to. Especially not with something so horrendous. All he wanted was to calm him down and support him. "I'll take care of Noodle, okay? He'll be okay."
[break][break]
His hand rubbed up and down on the other man's spine, not saying anything for awhile as the other explained what happened. All he could imagine right then was Lam alone and hurt and scared. It made him wish that he could've been there, but he would have been no help. Just another thing for Lam to worry about. "Lam, I'm so sorry.... I... Come on, let's get you inside." He did know one thing that would help Lam though. Without much warning, he let his arms slip around the other man and hefted him up, holding him like he was a child. Their bedroom wasn't far away.
[break][break]
Lam was all touch, it was how he loved. Rook loved that about him. Setting him on the bed, he planted a kiss on his forehead. "Okay, I'm gonna take care of Noodle real quick, will you be okay?"

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@ lam logan

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lou

lam

he/him

twenty-seven

may 7th

hau’oli city, alola

rooksexual (demi)

lilycove gym leader

gym leader

5'9 height

his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

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1,782 posts

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part of

TAG WITH @lou

POSTED ON Jun 14, 2023 21:58:49 GMT

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[attr="class","sam-banner-up-blurb"]In his mental disarray, Lam didn’t register that it might feel like he was holding back from Rook out of a reluctance to trust him, or be open with him. It wasn’t really an issue he had with Rook so much as in himself. He was so accustomed to being the easy going, unflappable person in most circles he became a part of. Being shaken felt wrong, in a way. But only for himself. Because he was supposed to be tough. Sturdy. It was difficult to fight the reassurances Rook gave, though, so even if he didn’t truly believe it for himself, he nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

But If there was anyone that he could trust, somewhere in his scattered head, Lam knew it was Rook. His stomach still turned over at the idea of telling him about the violence of it all. “It um, it–” his voice dropped quiet as he looked up at Ikarus reluctantly, “it was this gardevoir, but it was all wrong. Like really creepy. And it just ripped her up.” Literally so. Devoured her life’s essence like it was nothing. Those were details he couldn’t bring himself to voice yet.

He thought the instruction meant it was time to force his legs to work, to get up, but then Rook was the one scooping him off the floor of the balcony. Lam didn’t protest, tired as he was. His fingers curled tighter in the fabric of the other’s shirt, tired eyes watching the scenery change from the backdrop of the city to the interior of their home. His sprigatito followed, scampering after them before the sliding door was shut. She hopped up on the bed after he was set down–quick to sidle up to Lam as she kneaded the blanket with small paws.

Lam was reluctant to let go of Rook just then, though. And he remained loosely attached even as he felt lips press against his forehead soothingly. “Um, alright. Yeah, I’ll be…alright.” Managing to let go, he pulled the shinx’s pokeball from his pocket and offered it up to Rook. Needing something to hold in lieu of his partner, his fingers threaded through Clove’s silky emerald fur.

Once released, he’d find the shinx alert, but exhausted and worse for wear. His normally bright, luminescent coat was dim, and he curled in on himself to protect tender, bruised ribs. The worst of the damage was from the bruxish bite, though. Puncture wounds from psychic fangs that had torn at one hind leg and his flank were only barely maintained, as best as medical patching in the field could allow.

Still, he was aware enough to recognize the safety of home. Perking up enough to offer Rook a mrrp of greeting before resting his chin on Lam’s leg where he sat. It was enough to make Lam feel sick with guilt all over again. A wobbly sound snuck up his throat before he could swallow it as his fingers soothed over droopy, golden ears.

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Rook

he/him

Twenty-Six

june 27

Jubilife City, Sinnoh

bi-sexual

art thief

civilian

6'2" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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TAG WITH @ikarus

POSTED ON Jul 6, 2023 19:13:34 GMT

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Maybe he was soft, he couldn't help the queasy shiver that shuddered down him as Lam told him what happened. He imagined red eyes and slicing claws. He imagined what that could do to soft downy feathers. Even more, it made him realize just what Lam had experienced out there. Rook had always been soft for pokemon, especially those that were hurt. As much as he somewhat craved to follow the same trainer path as Lam, he wasn't sure he had the ability to stomach what that could mean. Not that he believed trainers hurt pokemon, but rather they had to be more brazen and stronger than he was.
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"I'm sure you did everything you could for her, Lam. I know you did. There's no one in the world more caring than you. This person and their pokemon sound... cruel. That's not your fault." Selfishly, he wanted Lam to promise never to do anything like that again. Not to leave him behind, at least. No matter how soft he was, he couldn't imagine leaving Lam to struggle alone. Despite his selfish wants, he forced himself to shove them away. This wasn't about him. Carrying him to the bed wasn't a difficult task, even if he felt like he wasn't good enough to provide Lam with true peace of mind.
[break][break]
"It'll only be a second, I promise." After consoling the other, he took care of the poor shinx. Noodles looked worse for wear right then, another snapshot of the chaos that Lam had just endured alone. There was a deep, constrictive twist in his chest — like the air had slowly and painfully been forced out. It hurt, just thinking about it, but he was going to be strong for Lam.
[break][break]
He'd grown good at first aid and bandages, from experience. He hated that he was out of necessity, but right then he was thankful for it. "You're gonna be okay, you can rest now little buddy." Give Noodle a little pet, he let the shinx settle down and returned to Lam. It hadn't been much time, but it was probably too much even then for Lam.
[break][break]
He settled in beside him, immediately pulling him closer and rubbing his back with a flat hand. "How you doing?"

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@ lam logan

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played by

lou

lam

he/him

twenty-seven

may 7th

hau’oli city, alola

rooksexual (demi)

lilycove gym leader

gym leader

5'9 height

his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

awards

1,782 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @lou

POSTED ON Jul 12, 2023 22:22:18 GMT

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[attr="class","sam-banner-up-blurb"]The reassurance only drew a halfhearted shrug from Lam as his stare shifted away from Rook. “It felt like I didn’t do anything at all.” In reality, he couldn’t have. Not being held back by the gardevoir’s trainer as he’d been. It did little to quell that useless feeling from taking root again in the pit of his stomach. I shouldn’t have gotten lost in the first place.

He swallowed hard, and nodded quickly as he somewhat reluctantly relinquished his hold on Noodle to Rook. Not because he didn’t trust his boyfriend to be gentle—Rook was genuinely one of the gentlest people he’d ever met. But more because it was terrifying to not be holding the shinx or running his hands over the small feline’s fur. Lam let go, though, and held onto the purring sprigatito instead.

Clove continued to purr as he absently watched Rook work with practiced efficiency. It was almost sort of calming in its own way, to see his partner handle the shinx with care and patience despite the feline’s obvious pain. Despite his guilt and worry, it allowed him to fixate on something happening right there in front of him rather than the recollections that wanted to overtake his thoughts again. He was lucky to have this steady presence in his life now.

“You’re really good at that, y’know?” His glance drifted over to where Noodle had settled into his little cat bed and curled up in indication. But he still managed to find his words after a beat. It was easier, when it was praise for Rook rather than the day that had gone sideways on him. “Taking care of all sorts of pokemon.” He’d seen it with the ones they’d caught together, and heard it in Rook’s voice when he talked about how he found the assortment of pokemon he’d brought along with him to this region.

His forehead leaned into the crook of the other’s neck when he came to sit behind Lam again–voice dropping to something pitifully quiet. “And also me.” Even when he was stubborn and difficult to work with, all wrapped up in his anxiety and lost in his head as the guilt made knots of his stomach.

Lam allowed himself to lean into the contact given, and the rigid tension finally began to ease out of his shoulders as he slumped into the curve of Rook’s side. His eyes shut, focused on the soothing path of a hand at his back, and he let out a long, shaky breath. “I’m f–” he bit down on the automatic instinct to insist again that he was fine. It was a lie– that had been made clear. They both knew it. A wobbly breath of laughter slipped loose. “I’m a little better, with you here now. That’s all I wanted the whole time I was out there.” A lot better, really. It beat returning to an empty, lonely apartment, didn’t it? Rook brought more comfort than he probably realized.

“‘M so hungry, though,” he muttered, unwilling to pull away. “And tired. My face fuckin’ hurts. Is it really bad?” He hadn’t even seen his face or the shiner and seep of bruising down the side. But he could feel the swelling in his cheek, pressing against the bone. The tiniest flicker of humor peeked through in his voice–a sign that the worst of his panic had begun to recede.

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[attr="class","sam-banner-up-title"]weh :’) // we revise to be post-pd…

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played by

roux

Rook

he/him

Twenty-Six

june 27

Jubilife City, Sinnoh

bi-sexual

art thief

civilian

6'2" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

250 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @ikarus

POSTED ON Jul 18, 2023 14:40:49 GMT

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"I'm sure you did everything you could, Lam." Lam was all about contact, which wasn't something that Rook was used to. Still, he let his hand rub the valley between his shoulder blades, trying as best he could to soothe him. "Even then, you weren't prepared for that kind of battle. No one could blame you for that." It was a big difference, fighting in gyms and fighting team rocket. Those people were heartless, as far as Rook figured. Anyone that would willingly rob or hurt pokemon didn't deserve to have pokemon.
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He was quick to return to him, afraid that the distance would send Lam spiraling. The other wasn't weak by any means, but Rook had never seen him like this. "You think so?" He smiled softly, shrugging. "I'm just used to bandaging is all, you know that." Though the compliment was still nice, more than nice. Rook often felt starved of compliments, though Lam was never in short supply of them.
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Lam was his rock, but he wanted to be the same for him too. It was a two-way road, this relationship. "I will always be here for you, you know? Anytime you need me and even when you don't need me. Kinda persistent in that way." A small chuckle followed, but it was soft and muted. His hands didn't move from the other, making slow coaxing circles across his skin.
[break][break]
I'm fine. He braced himself for that automatic response, but smiled when it wasn't voiced. "Good, I'm glad."
[break][break]
He sat up a little, "Want me to cook you something?" Or well... heat something up for him, he meant. "It's not too bad." It wasn't nice to look at. The way the bruise discolored his face made something sickly and even angry coil up in him. He wasn't typically an angry sort of person, but Lam was his weak spot. How dare they do this to him, to someone so light and carefree. It wasn't right. "Here, I'll get you some pain medication."

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@ lam logan

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played by

lou

lam

he/him

twenty-seven

may 7th

hau’oli city, alola

rooksexual (demi)

lilycove gym leader

gym leader

5'9 height

his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

awards

1,782 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @lou

POSTED ON Jul 18, 2023 21:41:43 GMT

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[attr="class","sam-banner-up-blurb"]“Yeah…” He wasn’t sure he believed he had. If he’d been better prepared, maybe it wouldn’t have turned out that way. It was a debate he wasn’t up for, though–it was enough right then to focus on the way the circular motion of Rook’s hand had begun to ease the rigidity from his muscles. “It’s definitely not a gym match, yeah.” It had been imbalanced, unfair. He understood now what Matias had been talking about in his training with Lam.

A soft breath of a laugh huffed out of him, and he shook his head slightly. “It’s more than just some bandages. It’s just…you.”” He wasn’t sure how to put it into words. “Bedside manner?” Rook cared. It was more than evident. Lam lifted his head to look at him. “Yeah, I know. Except I always need you, so kinda glad you are.” Lam leaned in to let their foreheads rest together.

“I know you’re just humoring me,” he managed the halfhearted tease then, one side of his mouth curving upward despite the fact that doing so made his face sting more. It’d fade, he was sure of that much. And at least his eyebrow hadn’t busted and needed stitches. “Kind of a bummer I won’t have a cool ass scar to show off, though.” He snorted dryly.

He nodded his agreement– “Yeah, though. Food would be nice. And the meds.” Anything to make the swelling go down some. “I’m just gonna change, I think.” Looking down at himself, his shirt and pants were dusty (he’d lost count of how many times he’d fallen down or been knocked over,) and if he looked close enough, there was the faintest bit of blood fleck. Peeling off his clothes was suddenly something urgent, but tedious.

Tired limbs scrambled to yank the fabric away, even as they ached in protest from a day’s worth of constant movement and little rest. Eventually he was able to ball it all up and toss the clothing heap in the corner for later before switching to sweatpants and clean socks–as well as a well-worn sweatshirt that had definitely seen better days but was a comfort all the same.

It would’ve been easy to wait for Rook to find his way back, but Lam felt too restless to sit there on the bed, or even curl up on it. Instead, he shuffled out of their room and back into the living room. Past the balcony door where Butternut was now roosting, and into the kitchen. He didn’t ask Rook what he was making. Instead, he pulled a bag of some sort of frozen vegetable from the freezer and stuck it against the side of his face.

Then promptly swiveled to where his partner was and tucked his non-bruised side against his chest as he huddled up to him. “Hey.” It was sort of embarrassingly pitiful. But he couldn’t help but cling like a burr.

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played by

roux

Rook

he/him

Twenty-Six

june 27

Jubilife City, Sinnoh

bi-sexual

art thief

civilian

6'2" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

250 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @ikarus

POSTED ON Jul 28, 2023 15:33:23 GMT

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It's just you. Despite everything, Rook couldn't help the smile that slipped on his face at the compliment. "I'm just doing what anyone would do though." Still, he filed the feeling away for later to gush over like an idiot. Lam always seemed to do that to him, drive him a little silly with his compliments. He felt like he was starving for them and Lam so happily fed him.
[break][break]
Right then wasn't about him though or his likely sad lack of self-confidence. It was about Lam, picking him up in the very same way. "Humoring you? How?" He frowned at that, not wanting to chide the other, but it did hurt a little that Lam thought he had to humor him in the first place. "I don't think you seem to realize the importance of my position as the president of the Lam Logan fan club and it's beginning to hurt my feelings."
[break][break]
For then, they separated. He left Lam to dress, though part of him wanted to remain and check every inch of him for damage that Lam would be too proud to show on his own. Rook figured though that he just needed to trust him. He wasn't really making anything, considering his terrible cooking skills. What he could do though was heat up some mac n cheese. That wasn't too terribly difficult, even with a very clingy Lam hanging on to him.
[break][break]
He lifted his free hand, fingers dragging through his hair. "Hiya." A little giggle slipped free, remembering all the dumb times they devolved into no more than a few scattered and breathy "hi"'s.
[break][break]

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@ lam logan

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played by

lou

lam

he/him

twenty-seven

may 7th

hau’oli city, alola

rooksexual (demi)

lilycove gym leader

gym leader

5'9 height

his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

awards

1,782 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @lou

POSTED ON Jul 31, 2023 21:15:01 GMT

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